Tom Lubbe: Funny GuyYou are quite right in believing that the age of the vines is very important , mine are at least 700 years old , and when I am talking to a particularly influential journalist they may even go up to 900 or so , depending on my mood and the general elasticity of my ambition that day. This is a Spanish technique I have picked up being so close to the border but unfortunately we do not get Jay Miller coming over here (he has been banned by French law) and Schildnecht is harder to fool (and spell). Otherwise I would have 99 points for everything and because this hazy lacuna between fact and dreams is so narrow I claim on my website that it is true and ask you nicely to do the same . Please. I am hoping that the magical realist marketing technique will do for me what it has done for so many of my Southern neighbours rendering irrelevant such annoying details as vineyard work and drinkability of a given wine.
Prior to my outrageous success, I was sometimes , unfortunately, labelled as a militant for organic agriculture. If I did ever say that any vigneron or wine-grower using Round-up should be shot at dawn using a lead-free bullet , then I was obviously confused or possibly high. To suggest that SouthAfrica (my hinter land) should renounce chemical viticulture by reason of having a perfect climate and cheap/needy labour was silly and clearly I have been proved wrong by the steady stream of excellent wines flowing from that country , wines hall-marked by the vivacious contrapuntal play between fruit and minerality with no need for fake acid, oak essences or other flavour props employed by less scrupulous winemakers in places like Norway and Madagascar.
Otherwise I am now very happily installed in France where I have a choice between drinking the poisonous, atrabilious crap sold in supermarkets, including the 50€ bordeaux , and drinking a wide range of real wines with high volatiles and low prices some of which aren't even scored by the Wine Advocate if you can believe that? Needless to say I choose the 50€ bordeaux which whilst affirming my bulging masculine success in life also shares the same volatile expression as flat Fanta, one of the more exciting beverages available to the modern consumer with informed tastes.
I am guessing your readers are breathlessly wondering which 50€ bordeaux are affirming my success but it really doesn't matter as long as the price tag is bold and beautiful. Sometimes I will drink lesser vintages of Bordeaux (93 pointers) to show that I am hip and savvy but in these cases make sure you are paying at least 75€ which should guarantee some kind of objective quality.
For once and all I would like to put paid to the nasty rumours about my media-hostility which are frankly unfounded. My hi-jacking, although I prefer "re-directing", the LMVH Lear jet packed with Decanter journalists bound for yet another important chateau vertical was misread by many commentators as an aggressive act but some of those journalists (the stronger ones) are still alive and well, toiling on the rocky and vertiginous slopes of Domaine Matassa. I have promised the Queen to send the survivors back fitter and more bronzé than before if she agrees to buying 5000 bottles of Matassa Blanc to put in her annual Xmas Harrod's hampers . (The Matassa Blanc did only get a miserly 93 from M. Schildnecht and 18 (out of 20!) from Jancis but I will be billing her Majesty a straight but nonetheless cheeky 50€ per bottle ex-cellars which would make it cheap if it was bordeaux.
"50€ for a Roussillon !" , was Her first gasped response ,..." that is rather cheeky, even if the above two luminaries and the third most important journalist in the world after these , Jean-Emmanuel Simond of the RVF all agree that the Roussillon is currently the most exciting new/old wine region in France and thus the world. " Interestingly all three agree that The Grand Cru of the Roussillon (Rosséllo to be authentic and Catalan) is Calce , which is coincidentally the village where Domaine Matassa can be found. Village is maybe an exaggeration , a huddle of stone huts in the garrigue , home to some 200 souls mostly drunkards and layabouts but nevertheless the most exciting new/old Grand Cru in the world. Drink up! Salut, Tom